(Written by 350 lb Little John--pic from 2003 in Rahway State prison yard): I always thought power came from fear, or carrying a gun, or wielding a variety of weapons like bats, black jacks, knives or brass knuckles. I was mostly the brawn and seldom the brains and I liked it that way. It was much easier-- beat this one, break that one, damage him or worse.My life as a mob enforcer wasn’t to try to figure things out or set up complex schemes. My sole reason for being was to instill fear into people so they would think twice about not paying a debt, a gambling bet or the vig on some shy money.I instilled fear because of my enforcer tactics: smack people around, beat someone up with a bat, throw some body in the trunk, or my favorite– a cup of gas in the face with a promise to return with a match.
Ever stick a gun in somebody’s face?
Ever beat somebody with a blackjack while their blood splatters you?
I have, and each and every time it felt powerful. It felt like sheer strength rushing through my veins. I felt as though I was untouchable.Even after being arrested and thrown into prison for a decade, I used my bad reputation to keep the power of fear strong in those around me and on the streets. I used my unpredictable and spontaneous outbursts of rage to affect everybody alike--officer or inmate. I didn’t care as long as everybody was afraid.All this projecting my power and fear onto others came to a screeching halt on Memorial Day 2011 when the Holy Spirit awoke inside my heart and made me feel the reality of not being saved. God is now the enforcer in my life, collecting a debt I owe. But His weapons of choice aren’t guns or brass knuckles. His weapons are love and mercy. He has a plan, a complex scheme to save each and every one of us, and we have no reason to fear ‘cause God ain’t gonna throw you in the trunk or douse you with gas. He’s just gonna love you and save your life.' So when God comes looking for you to pay your debt for you, accept the gift gladly and join God’s ‘Family’.
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