Before my formal sentencing date sent me to prison, I was stuck between a rock (my impending incarceration, which was set in stone) and a hard place (still being free in my community). It was no man’s land for me—knowing that with each passing day, I was one day closer to the uncertainty of certainty. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew there was much to anticipate.Regardless of whether there was any truth in this, I felt the overwhelming weight of the terrible impasse; I was chained like a slave to it. The pervading feeling that held me captive was the belief that all eyes were on me everywhere I went. I felt glances and gazes, all weighted with looks of disgraces. True or not, whether this was the view or not, I felt it. Eyes that locked me up before I was locked up.During this time before prison, I was afforded quality time with my family, not having anywhere to go or anything to do but wait. And during that time, I experienced the liberating expression of another set of eyes. No matter where I went with my niece Alivia (then 3, and now having her 11th Birthday just pass on August 5th), those blue eyes staring at me from the rearview mirror set me free. They blinked to the resetting of blue with eyelashes that waved grace upon me—a reminder of life from loss. Her life, which began just four short months before the loss of her father. Those eyes spoke to me without her little life ever comprehending the impact she was having upon me, her disgraced Uncle Matt.It was not unusual for my mom to ask me to pick up Alivia or drop her off—brief excursions that gave me the opportunity to secure her in her child-safety seat, turn on some children’s Christian music, and ask her to sing to me. She would. In her squeaky voice, she would set me completely at ease from the condemning eyes that I believed awaited me everywhere I went. Behind Alivia’s blue eyes was the “stair” of heaven. Her eyes took me up one step at a time. And that peaceable feeling I had then before prison, I have now two years out of prison (August 3rd, 2014). I’m reminded of one biblical meaning behind the color blue, which is symbolic of heaven. God knew I needed her heavenly blue and accepting eyes way back then, staring at me through the mirror, reflecting liberty into my soul. And now all this time later, I look into the mirror of the Word, and heaven’s eyes grant me serenity all the more. I realize now that it doesn’t matter how other people may view me or even how I sometimes view myself, because as long as “blue eyes” behold me, then no condemnation will ever again hold me. I was a slave to those feelings when I was between the rock of prison and the hard place of my community. No man’s land on my way to a land where I’d be a no-man.I’m 24 months out of prison now and Alivia’s eyes still remind me that beyond this blink of a life is where heaven lies.