"i invite YOU in": I CAN.

I can look out my window, no bars. No mountain of prison towers and fences obstructing my outlook. However, I still compare my current outlook to a mountain climber going over a mountain. The climber’s feet are still planted on the obstacle even though he is at the top and looking down.Don’t misunderstand me, I say "over it", but I am still touching it!  Over the guilt and shame, but still touching it by remorse and remembrance.  Over the distressing pain, but still touching it by progressive passion.And even when the mountain climber makes his way down and off the mountain, the journey may be behind him, but the same earth that’s connected to the mountain is part of the valley.  So with every step, the soil beneath his feet feels the same. One ground was just elevated, while the other is just elongated. But the trek must continue. The journey must go on……It’s been 6 years (March 7th, 2009) since my soul was paralyzed by the discovery of what my reckless decision caused. “Deceased” was the word I heard through the cell window that described the driver in the other vehicle. A father of six named Hort Kap. That word--“deceased”-- still doesn’t make sense even as time goes on. How could I have caused something I would have never fathomed?  How could I have done something that I would never choose to do?  But it was my choice that led to what was done. You see how this makes no sense.Like the miner who yells into the cave once, but his echo continues to bounce around until the sound waves crash no more on the rock walls. Crash. My mind reverberates on a visual that collides with my heart. Collision. These words are driving me in the wrong direction and I cannot get away from these haunted woods. Woods. Maybe I can!  A new word picture takes me by the hand and I say it slowly in my heart--“Wood.”  The cross was made of wood.  The cross would do, what I could not do.  And because I could not, the cross tells me I can….I can."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).  Christ. Life. My life will never be the same.  How can it?  It can’t, but I can……………………….