I JUST WANT TO BE OVERLOOKED

These thoughts were written in March of 2013 while I was incarcerated at Mid-State Correctional Facility. As I re-read them now all of this time later, I realize they are still appropriate. These thoughts are still the desire of my heart ("that Jesus may increase and I may decrease"):I just want to be avoided or overlooked by my peers and especially by the officers. I’d rather them not be drawn to me. I’d rather them not put so much trust in me. I’d rather they refrain from always having to talk to me. I don’t want them to seek my opinion or try to impress me with their past lives of vain glories. I don’t want their attention nor their approval. I don’t care for their respect, although all of the essentials are given to me. Some treat me like I’m infallible and I crave for someone to hold me accountable.And all that I just shared is the very reason why I don’t let them get to me before I give them Christ. Yes! And if I give them Jesus, I am avoided and overlooked regardless if my peers or the officers even realize it in the moment. They’re not drawn to me, but the Christ in me; and if they do trust me, it’s not me, but the faith in me that’s trustworthy. They come for my opinion and it’s the Holy Spirit that gives them truth.  Their attention or approval matters not to me, but as long as I can redirect their attention to God, then it’s His approval that is actually driving me. I’d ruin the respect I receive in here myself, and that is why I see it as God’s abiding favor that comes from nowhere else. And being so far away from infallible, this blog is the manifestation of how I keep myself accountable. "O Lord, please allow my peers to overlook everything about me—a sinner—that they may only see Your Son and nothing but His grace that saved me!"